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How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text

Text message communication has gone up significantly in the past few years. For good or bad, it’s replaced phone calls as the go-to method of distance flirting. But to its credit, text messaging has several key benefits that you can take advantage of:

Texting is quick – You can send a fast text and go right back to what you were doing. You don’t have to worry about awkward voicemails (that he may or may not listen to) or if he is going to pick up. You’re able to flirt with a guy at your convenience.

Texting can be private (but not always) – With a phone call, everyone around you can listen in on your conversation. If you’ve just met a guy that you’re crazy about, it’s unlikely that you want everyone to hear your flirt-filled conversation.

Texting can be done anywhere – You can flirt with a guy over text at work, in a loud club, or even at your parents’ dinner table. Anywhere.

Despite the awesome flexibility of texting, texts have one major drawback:

Text messages don’t have audio or visual cues - You miss out on the inflection and pitch of his voice when you text. Texting often leads to confusion and misunderstanding. With phone calls, you hear what he said and how he said it. But texts are just words with no pitch or audio cues.

Now that you know the advantages and disadvantages of text, here are the do’s and don’ts on how to flirt with a guy over text.


How to flirt with a guy over text:

Keep it light and funny – Now is not the time for “We need to talk.” and other serious conversation topics: religion, political views, etc.

Use emoticons, exclamation points, and other emotional cues – Take advantage of smiley faces, exclamation points and whatever you need to convey the right emotion. Remember you don’t have any audio cues. Use these to show him what you’re thinking.
It’s important to note that smiley faces and exclamation points can easily be overused and abused, losing their effect. There are also times when you want to be ambiguous and leave him guessing. Omitting these emotion signals can be an excellent way to build tension and mystery. Find the balance.

Be aware of autocorrect:

How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text Fail

How not to flirt with a guy over text:

Don’t Get A DWT – This is a big one. Drinking While Texting (DWT) is something that is going to happen, but you must understand your limits and know when it’s not a good time to text a guy. You know that ex that you secretly want to get back with. Texting him while drunk at 2AM is not the answer.

Don’t be desperate – Never send more than 2 texts in a row without a response. And definitely don’t ask him why he hasn’t answered yet. Guys in general don’t carry their phone with them as often as girls.

Don’t send embarrassing texts – Make sure you are comfortable with the texts you are sending. Sexting and sending sexy pictures can be fun, but these messages are going to be out there for everyone to see. A guy may show it to his friends to brag. Or the relationship may go sour and he’ll use it against you. Just like an embarrassing voice mail, you’ll wish you could take it back.
If you want to know how to flirt with a guy over text, you need to experiment. Be a social scientist. One time, try a direct, more aggressive approach. The next time you can be the one being pursued. Find out what works best for you and your personality type.
Dr. David Morgan specializes in body language and relationship dynamics. His advice on how to use body language in dating and relationships has earned him worldwide accolades. He is currently running a relationship counseling practice in Raleigh, NC.